I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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