Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize