Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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