the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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