The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize