I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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