"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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