My sheets look like a crime scene.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
