College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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