Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
