i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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