Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
My vagina is very pro this idea
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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