ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
