The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
