You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
