I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
