Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
