Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
