so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize