worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize