I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.