Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
