If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
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It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
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I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now