I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
