we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You may now shotgun with the bride
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
