Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
