you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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