question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
