there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
operation have a gay friend backfired
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
