Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize