I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
