This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
