You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Ladies don't puke and tell
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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