took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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