third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
