38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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