i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
