dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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