That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
