I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
