The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
