and i looked up. we had an audience...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
