hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
