why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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