I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
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I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
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think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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