we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
