Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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