i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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