well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
