dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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