and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
