There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
