you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
