whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he puts the penis in happiness.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
