I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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