Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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