im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize