So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize