So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
