i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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