It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He shit in the fireplace
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Panties = found
Randomize