But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
