My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
